girl in a big world

Meredith Baxter reveals she's gay on Today Show

2009-12-08T23:08:08Z

if you give a pig a party!

2009-12-06T23:46:11Z

There will be much joy, love and laughter!

Lots o yummy fondue

And surprises all around!

Thanks everyone!

OY VEY, we are doing Thanksgiving this year!

2009-11-24T12:44:11Z

Daddys mom suggested that "we have Thanksgiving this year!" and a way we go, the families are going to meet, i don't know what i am more freaked out about, all the families; moms, stepdads, siblings, etc all meeting each other or cooking a 20 pound turkey.
Thank the Universe for the bff, the pretty lady, WMB & bootpig...they will be here too, yeah for some form of sanity! oh was that, my outside voice?

first week back reflection

2009-11-16T12:35:51Z

as i sit getting ready to start my second week teaching second grade, i am reflecting on the first week.
it went GREAT!
the staff is really nice, really, i mean they all came to introduce themselves to me and see what i needed.
the co teacher is really good, we definitely have different teaching styles and he wants me to teach him some things, pretty cool.
i have a classroom aide, WOW!
she comes in during language arts and math to see if i need any help, WHAT, you mean i have assistance, WOAH, never had that before.
the kids are actually pretty book, the most interesting thing about it, and this is one the the things about Maricopa is all the kids are religious, they love church and Jesus, never dealt with that before.
also, because of where the school is, the cultural diversity is really low, usually i am used to being the minority, well, the majority is white, then Hispanic, i don't have one African American student. the community where i teach is definitely different.

all in all it was a great first week....
now here is to the second week!

i got a FRICKIN job!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEEEEEE

2009-11-06T01:11:34Z

ok, first, i have to thank

hopebrat

for hookin me up!

it was a hard decision yet, it is the right one....

i will be teaching at www.pathwayprep.org in Maricopa, Ii was freaking out about the commute, 30 minutes on bad days, i will be going against traffic, etc. then i found out a new road has been put in to connect my community to Maricopa, so.....

I TOOK THE JOB!

i honestly had trepidation but i think, no i know it is because of change, its time to change, its time to step out of my comfort zone....

basically, i will be going in and taking over for a teacher who has not been doing a good job, well, a shitty job.....its my turn to step in a do what i do best!

also, i know there will be room for advancement as this is a new school and a brand new building will be opening up in January, a complete new facility, grades K-12.....

i start Monday!!!!

Michele passed away last night

2009-10-31T16:57:48Z

She battled hard, but her brain just couldn't handle it any more. She was in Hospice, surrounded by many who love her.

I have had the honor of having Michele in my life for nearly 10 years, i have been so very honored to enjoy and participate in her transformation into one of the most beautiful women i know.

her love for community must go on with our help in making sure her legacy and philosophies live on.

Michele has taught me what true obedience is, i remember watching and learning from her, and boy could she take a beating, there has been many times that i was the one providing after care for her and it was and will be one of the most intimate experiences i will ever have.

Michele taught me that being true to yourself is one of the most important things in life.

i am will miss you Michele, i am honored to call you my sister, my friend. Thank you for being in my life on this earth, and continuing to be in my heart.

The Girl Effect....take a minute and watch!!!!!!

2009-10-27T13:27:21Z

a little honesty here, whats really been going on! time for some girl talk

2009-10-18T15:08:38Z

first, 3 weeks ago Daddy and i quit smoking, YEAH! i have been working really hard and it is paying off, smoke free for 3 weeks!

BUT, i gained 10 pounds, i don't want to talk about it but i have to, i am concerned that i have removed one addiction (smoking) and reverted back to another (eating)
i am not going to let this take control of me, but it has been really hard, usually i can say no and refuse foods i know i have a problem with (cookie dough) but i can't so, sorry family, won't be buying cooking dough or hot cheetos for awhile at least till i can overcome this.

PAIN, i am in a lot of it, it is time for another epidural in my back, i have one scheduled tomorrow, the biggest problem is now i have pain in both hips, so basically, i walk in pain, sit in pain and sleep in pain, i had an MRI Friday to see if my back has gotten worse. i honestly don't talk about my pain, no one knows i am in pain, except Daddy, she knows, she can see it in me :(

my substituting has been going well, i have two more weeks scheduled, i will be back this Wednesday, tomorrow school is closed and Tuesday i will take a day to rest from the epidural.

JOBS i am having dreams about the language arts teaching position, i am concerned about the principal, and if i can work with him. TODAY I WILL TAKE SOME TIME FOR MYSELF AND JOURNEY
AND ASK MY TEACHER IN THE UPPER WORLD WHAT I CAN DO

hopebrat has been working on getting me a job at a school in Maricopa, one of the reasons i like this idea is i feel i will have more opportunities to grow into a leadership role as this is a new school, with a new building to open soon. i need to figure out if an hour commute is worth it.

ok, i need to go lie down, hips hurting.

my love to you all, thanks for listening,
gd

*********************************************************************************************************************************
one more thing....
selling the U2 tickets, that was hard, those of you who know me know how much i LOVE this band, basically for 30 years they have been my boys, my sons name was almost Bono.
selling the tickets was really hard, but i had to for my family. i need to feed my kids, i have not received child support this month, i don't know when i will, so Daddy and i are working really hard at budgeting and planning, so the 300 dollars for the tickets will help a lot.

i need to tallk about my interview....let me know what you think, especially my fellow educators

2009-10-16T22:39:55Z

so, i applied for a job that i had to prepare a packet, usually, everything is done online, this is the only major school district in Phoenix that does not have an online resume builder etc.
so, i put together this awesome packet of everything they asked for and more.
i dropped it off at the district office on September 28th.
i got a call from the Principal!!!!! YIPPEE, so yesterday was my interview.
i was nervous but the usual interview jitters, i know my stuff so i knew i didn't have anything to worry about.....

i was excited to find out that not only was this position for an 8th grade Language Arts teacher (which i am highly qualified for) but it is for the reading teacher, the teacher who helps those students that are behind grade level in reading, i was REALLY excited. i would be teaching 5 classes, 4 of the classes will be reading classes with an average of 15 students in each class!

Teaching reading is my passion, i was really excited, until i listened to the Principal on how the school is run
basically, this principal has been at this school for two years. it was the lowest middle school in the district, now it is the highest, which i think is wonderful.

BUT HIS PHILOSOPHY is where i have the problem. he told me that 60% of the teachers left when he was hired now i understood why, first he had NO emotion at all.

ok second and most important to me, he wants all of his teachers to teach in the philosophy of what the research says. So basically, if the research says this works, and then do it, i mentioned about having a student look something up in the dictionary if he doesn't know what something means, then as a class we would discuss the meaning, well he said "the research says that looking up words in the dictionary is a waste of time. to give them the definition in kid friendly terms" which i totally believe in but i feel that it is beneficial for everyone to know how to look up a word in the dictionary, it helps with alphabetizing, eye hand coordination and deciphering unknown words.

THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX

basically, what i got out of it was that he does not want a teacher who thinks "outside" the box, he wants a teacher to follow exactly what he and the research says and that is how the school is run.

i had a real hard time separating the need for a job and taking any job, i didn't sleep well last night, i haven't talked to Daddy about it either.

thank the Universe for hopebrat and understanding my dilemma, she totally gets it.

ok, i feel better, now i just need to realize that i may be saying no to this job, i know i have other opportunities ahead

i need to sell my tickets to the U2 concert :(

2009-10-16T14:14:05Z

i have 4 general admission tickets to the concert next Tuesday.
75.00 each
let me know if you are interested.
thanks so much,
gd

wish me luck!

2009-10-15T01:27:24Z

i have an interview tomorrow for an 8th grade Language Arts teacher in the Tempe Elementary School District!

SUBSTITUTE!

2009-10-08T14:07:05Z

i got a call last week from the vice principal of the school i worked at last year.
One of the 8th grade Social Studies teachers has a family emergency, "Deb, would you mind coming in and teaching, we don't know how long she will be out"
YEAH!
so i started this week, see i really didn't want to sub, its a really hard thing to do, and the pay after taxes, well, its not great, but if i could have a consistent classroom and paycheck, well thats another story.
i started Monday, i just love teaching, thats all i can say.
THEN, come to find out, many of these 8th graders i taught in 2nd grade, OMG, they totally remember me.
all i know is i will be working through October, next week is fall break then the last two weeks in October.
it feels good to be working!

Damn this is HARD! this quitting thing

2009-10-02T21:05:42Z

ok,
its a bit easier today, no more headaches, have A LOT LESS CRAVINGS
BUT I AM SO FUCKING TIRED I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

i know i will be normal, whatever normal is soon...

those of you who quit, when did you feel like you have your energy back?

Sunday is QUIT DAY!!!

2009-09-25T18:52:29Z

sunday, SUNDAY, SUNDAY

Daddy and i are officially quitting on Sunday, i haven't talked about it much, lots of things going on but this is top priority.
i have been working with a counselor through www.ashline.org/
i was able to get Commit Lozenges paid by my insurance.

its gonna be hard, thats all i can say.

thanks everyone for all your support

Dear Cigarettes:

2009-09-15T17:16:38Z

Dear Cigarettes:

Its time to end this relationship. I know this will be hard but it is something i need to do. its not you, its me, i have lost weight, i run and i feel you are still sabotaging my healthy lifestyle.

You have been a consistent part of my life for nearly 25 years, its time, its over.

You have cost me a lot of money, its time to end, its time to save the money to buy a house.

You have made me smell, made my car smell and you allowed me to separate myself from others, NO MORE.

it is time to end this relationship,

regards,
debra

OMG, went to a het bar with Daddy!

2009-09-14T03:35:31Z

so, last night Daddy and i went to www.grahamcentralstationtempe.com/
we met up with Daddy's BFF from High School, her husband and a few other guy friends.
Luckily the bar is like 5 minutes from the house so we didn't have to trek across town.
WHY the het bar you ask?

well, come to find out there is no cover before 8pm and drinks are only 50cents till 9:30....

OMG, i don't remember the last time i went to a het bar, but NOW i remember why i don't go......there were a lot of really stupid drunk people, i couldn't believe how many OLD people were there, i'm talkin my mom and dad old.

so the bar has these ares, we pretty much hung out in the 80's room, ok, i loved that cause it was great music, and watching the people....oy vey that was the best part.

so, i don't drink and drive so i pretty much drank soda and water all night, Daddy, her friend, and the husband on the other hand, OMG, Daddy was drinking cranberry vodkas, when we got home her tongue was RED...yep red cause of the cranberry juice. this is the first time i have ever seen Daddy drunk, we had fun, danced a lot.

THE FUNNIEST PART OF THE WHOLE EVENING was when Daddy and i went on the patio to smoke, it is in the front of the bar so the bouncers are watching, we were standing there minding our own business when the bouncer came up to Daddy, (now, Daddys back was to the bouncer) the bouncer said, "pull your shorts up" and Daddy replied, "they are up, look, (lifting up her shirt)" now i am sure the bouncer was a little shocked when he heard and saw a female, but then the bouncer replied "Don't give me no lip, or you'll be out of here"
WTF, did that just happen, as we looked at each other dumbfounded, we realized that a) they must have a dress code, so no baggy shorts and b) maybe they are worried about weapons. SERIOUSLY we were laughing by then, beacuse poor Daddy was mistaken for a man a few times cause i am sure they NEVER expected lesbians to be there, and Daddy, well those of you who know her is not tall, we are the same height, 5'5, so when you buy long shorts, they are loooong.....

so i finally got Daddy home around 10:30, and of course she tried to get all frisky on me....sorry Daddy your drunk, she literally rolled over and fell asleep.

all in all it was an interesting evening at the het bar!

HELP PLEASE...........................i fucked up!

2009-09-11T02:45:27Z

i made a reservation at the Holiday Inn where Behind Closed Doors in Tucson will be held, Saturday, September 19th

www.bajaarizonaleather. org/

i have a room for Friday and Saturday nights.

i didn't realize that it is the same weekend as Rosh Hashana

so i won't be able to make it.

PLEASE can anyone help me by taking my reservation, i cannot get a refund as i got a 66.00 a night nonrefundable reservation.

PLEASE pass on to whomever can help.

with gratitude,
girl debra

whats new you ask...well lemme tell ya!

2009-09-04T23:37:23Z

First,
The kids are doing great in school, we had some come to Jesus meeting with my son, he did say to me and daddy the other day. "I am sabotaging myself by not doing my homework, or managing my time" thank the Universe he got it, since he is in an honors program he will need to step it up.
My daughter is doing great in 6th grade!
I have been spenidn lots of time volunteering for the 1 Voice Center, i figured since i was home i should volunteer.
The 1 Voice Center is having its grand Opening Tonight....PLEASE COME OUT AND SUPPORT THE LBGT COMMUNITY

ALSO, my daughter got a bunny!
ldyhawk 's daughter has been way busy to take care of Roxie, well we adopted her, thank the Universe for all of this, my daughter really needed something to have as her own, thanks for the great advice my bff & the Pretty Lady! My daughter will have responsibility and have something to do instead of bugging her brother...

YEAH ROXIE!

We are off to Heber to visit Daddy's family, all of us, going to the corn festival, fishing and getting out of the heat!

have a great 3 day weekend!

shopping with WMB

2009-08-23T14:54:27Z

when Daddy and i went to WMB's and bootpig 's for dessert, i shared that i have been cooking....YES the girl is cooking, pretty much every night, fresh, healthy food...
so, WMB & bootpig told me about this home store www.homegoods.com/index.asp
and about how amazing the prices and selections are...
so i said WMB, lets have a shopping date....
Thursday we went, just me and WMB, i had the best time.
We first went to www.surlatable.com
WMB taught me about salt, real salt, so i bought some real salt and a real salt holder yep, my cooking adventures continue
we then went to home goods, i was like a girl in a candy store, thank goodness he understands the shopping mentality of a girl, ya know leaving the cart and can't find it, looking and looking at everything...
i had a budget and was amazed i went under my 50.00, they really have some great things, i got ramekins, which was my goal, yep, i am cooking with ramekins....can you frikin believe it.....
we then had lunch, went to Sprouts and had a wonderful day learning and just talking and just being....
thanks WMB, you know how much i love you
here is a pic of my finds

Dessert, coffee and a lovely time with WMB & Bootpig!

2009-08-20T15:38:51Z

last night daddy and i went to the house o Bob, see, they only live about 10 minutes away, why we don't see more of each other, well, i don't know...life i guess

bootpig was in the kitchen, makin souffle.....YUM! i just love to watch her in the kitchen baking, it actually is really HOT!

Before i get into details, i must tell you that the yard looks frickin fabulous, i first noticed the grass in the front yard, then OMG, the back yard, they did such a great job, grass, and did you know there was a planter, with plants, and trees and lots of green, i am really impressed!

so, as bp was makin the souffle, Daddy and i chatted with WMB, i just loves the philosophies o' Bob! he really puts things into perspective, we mostly talked about cooking, i know, the girl talking about cooking, he gave me the bestest tips ever, cause ya know i have been cooking every night (thats another lj entry)

so, being with my lovely friends made me think about how long i have known them and how our relationship has flourished and how much i treasure having them in my life.

i have known them for years, i remember back in the day when they used to go to APEX and do their whip dance, thats how long.

well, it wasn't until i started working with marg_it (3 years ago) did i get to KNOW them, i mean know, know them, like friends that you can call upon when you need something, which is what Bob has done for me, he actually is the Uncle Bob that everyone needs, the one who helps girls fix things that girls just can't.....and how much i cherish bp and her unconditional love

i thank you my friends, oh and i must tell you, the energy and everything is different about them, they, well as marg_it says about me and Daddy, are "obnoxioulsy adorable", well, thats WMB & bp, (ok, i let the cat out of the bag)

love you guys

BTW, WMB and i are going SHOPPING TODAY....will post pictures!

Wall Street Journal Article...A Hard Lesson for Teachers

2009-08-18T18:47:27Z

http://online.wsj.com/wsjgate?subURI=%2Farticle%2FSB10001424052970203612504574342530405184284-email.html&nonsubURI=%2Farticle_email%2FSB10001424052970203612504574342530405184284-lMyQjAxMDA5MDEwNzExNDcyWj.html

well,
i see i am not the only one who is having a hard time

in other news....my son lost his cell phone AGAIN!

2009-08-18T02:08:11Z

so, in basically 6 months my son lost his cell phone 3 times.
i have been taking money from his account to pay for the new phone, usually its easy, i call my carrier, they cancel and send a new phone....
WELL...this time my son lost his phone, didn't tell me right away, i didn't take care of it right away and 15 days later 500 dollars worth of charges to Mexico were on his phone....OY FUCKING VEY.....

he will be helping to pay for the charges and new phone again!

i need some advice...some suggestions, i have tried everything i know to keep my overly smart, ADD son to A) remember his cell phone when he goes out and B) know where his phone is at all times.

he claims it falls out of his pocket....i really need him to have one for my sanity and his safety, its NOT about chatting and texting with his friends its about calling me from Warhammer or School if he needs me.

ANY SUGGESTIONS?

moms taxi....at your service, the life of a stay at home girl;)

2009-08-10T16:06:04Z

first day of school, of course i am going to drive the teenkidlets to school, and i have been driving Daddy to work, its just too hot to ride the bike....

morning consists of 5:45 alarm going off, getting Daddy up, making coffee, waking up son at 6 so he can get get in the shower, get my daughter up at 6:30 so she can get ready while i start my taxi service:)

moms taxi leaves the house at 6:30, drops Daddy off at work, take son to school, wait, and wait and wait at the light into school cause everyone is taking their kids to school too, wish him luck on his first day, btw, he got a summer cold so he is not feeling 100% !

Get home at 7:45 just in time for my daughter to finish breakfast get her off to school, the good thing is the school is a few minutes away, we wait, and wait , and wait cause everyone is taking their kids to school! wish her lots of luck on this new adventure, i am so excited for her!

got home at 8:15, took the dogs out for a walk/run and its only 9am!

this feels good, feels right, even though i really kinda need a job, i am enjoying this stay at home girl thing!
the house is clean
laundry is done
i make dinner every night
grocery shopping gets done
bills get paid
and i am on top of my school work

now if i only got paid to be a stay at home girl:)

Happy Anniversary Daddy! ONE YEAR, can you frickin believe it!

2009-08-08T17:25:04Z

One year ago tonight i met azteddyb
to remind ya'all, we met at lesbian speed dating....
one week later we had a first date, we have really never been apart since.

thank you daddy for coming into my life
for enhancing my life
for supporting me
for loving my children and dogs!

and being the best Daddy in the whole Universe!

Teenkidlets...all grown up

2009-08-06T15:29:39Z

yesterday was freshman orientation for my son, the usual, principal message, all the VP messages, etc. tour the school ,figure out where his classes are.....practice locker combination...THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW MY SON WILL SOOOOO GET THIS....so i explain to him the combination is right, left right....the total brainy child has to ponder, how the hell does the mechanism work in the lock, i don't get it....OMG just open the fucking lock....the ex came with us to support my son which was great, then the two frickin engineering minds had a lengthy disuccsion about the lock, WTF, its just right, left right....
SO THE FUNNIEST PART, was the pep rally, my son HATES pep rallies, he is so not a pep rallier, all the cheer leaders, dancing girls, the band, oh don't forger the mascot
NOW, my ex being British has NEVER seen a pep prally, in the UK, there is no such thing, at least when he was in school, all the sports were played outside of school.....the son and ex looked at eachother and said, "get me the fuck out of here" we found out the school has an Engineering, club, you mean there will be lots of other kids just like my son, whew, we talked to the teacher who runs the club, we are excited about his adventures....

last night was my daughters meet the teacher, it was a bittersweet evening for me, i mean i should be there as a teacher too....i saw everyone, they gave me hugs, couldn't believe i didn't get a job, they alll said they would help to get me a job....yada, yada, yada....

i am excited for my daughter to start Middle School, i know it will be overwhelming at fist but i am glad she will have opportunites to grow and flourish....

now....if i could just find a job!